Life

I have been struggling with much this month. I have come to the conclusion about my relationship I was in was not real at all. I have given up and will be moving on as a single woman once again. The guy was not real and was just to good to be true. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find true love or love at all. I long to be held and loved by someone who can make me whole.

I had thought this year was off to a good start, but things have just gotten worse emotionally for me. I am working to make myself better, yet when this awful thing called depression gets you down it's so hard to get back up. Yes I suffer from depression as well as other things. Yet some people still wonder why.

Those people who wonder why will never completely understand. Some days I feel like I can't go on. So I struggle through the day, as long as it might turn out to be. Yes this might seem to be a pity party, but it's just how my life is at the moment. Don't judge me for these things. Just trust me that for me it's a chore living day to day.

I don't know why I have this depression or why it comes on me without warning. You might say "get over it", "there's nothing wrong with you", or just plain "stop it". But for those who suffer from it these sayings just don't work. There is something hindering me from my past as well as fear for my future. Screw the end of the world theory for 2012. I need to be thinking about surviving today and the days after. I just ask that any friends or family I have be there for me and don't judge me for things I don't do or have done wrong. I am working to move forward and any discouragement hinders me from moving forward.

Maybe a while later I will go into detail how I feel and why I feel this way. But for now I'm going to try to rest and recover my mind some more.