Someone had ordered me a side order of depression around 7am yesterday. It stuck with me all day. It nagged me all day. It told me life was not worth living. Horrible thoughts popped into my head. Thoughts I try hard to push out of it. It's hard to push those thoughts about life not worth living out of your head. It scares me honestly. A lot of the time I feel alone and all I have is my friends on the internet, my animals, and my artwork.
So I had waken up at 7am after sleeping. I felt depressed to the state I could not get back to sleep. Horrible thoughts nagged me. I decided to go get some breakfast. I then returned to my room and put on some movies I normally fall asleep to.
I finished eating my food and laid back down to go to sleep. I could not get my mind to settle. I then switched my movies off and turned on a wonderful relation track that I use at times and place on repeat. Here it is if you wish to listen.
This did it. I feel back to sleep thank God. I then slept for quite a while and woke up later in the day. I did not do much during the beginning of the day. I slept quite a bit. I wanted this day to just be over. But when I did get up I felt worse. I had to get out of the house and get my mind distracted. It was hard. I took some items of mine and sold them so I could get at least $6 up to go watch a movie.
And I did. I decided to go see "The Descendants" which I liked for the most part. It had me tear up a bit in thought of my father and how I knew what the girls where going through with their mother dying. Well after the two some hours of watching it I felt better and came home.
So here I am sitting writing this feeling good, but wishing I could now sleep. It's 4:23am and I'm wide awake. Whats a girl to do with these moods that switch back and forth? Well for now I will work on what I need to. I just figured I would share how I got through my depression for today. Though it will very every day when I am depressed. I might end up sleeping 24 hours. But for now I am fine.
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